The umbrella…possibly the most useless invention EVER!!

As I stepped out of the office for a few moments to grab a quick bite to eat this morning. I had a revelation.

That revelation: The umbrella is quite possibly the most USELESS thing ever invented. I honestly believe I got much wetter using it than I ever would have if I had just walked through the rain the way I normally do. But, being the local meteorologist, I feel silly trudging through the rain with no umbrella, so I gave in to peer pressure and busted mine out this morning. Now I'm SOAKED!!

It seemed to be a great idea at first. I stepped out of the building, unfurled my handy dandy umbrella feeling like I had beat Mother Nature at her own game. I galavanted across the parking lot with barely a drop hitting me. So far, so good. Then came time to get inside the car. First, the door of my car got soaked, probably not great for the electric windows or the interior of my car. Then, once I finally got the thing contracted, I pulled it inside the car at which time every drop of water the "device" we'll call it kept off of me spilled into my lap soaking my suit. Oh wait, not all of it...there was plenty left to soak the entire front seat of the car too!

Not so bad I said. Then I got to the restaurant. I'm damp, but still feeling better off than I would have with no umbrella. I again unfurl the umbrella, walk into the restaurant and what's the first words I hear from a fellow patron of the restaurant? "Hey, I'd think the weatherman of all people would know that an umbrella is useless on a day like today." "No truer words have ever been spoken" I told the gentleman.

So I sat down in my now soaking wet suit and tie and ate my breakfast.

Now it's time to leave and it's raining even harder than when I arrived. Not willing to give up on the umbrella (it wasn't invented just for spite was it?) I again flung my still wet umbrella open immediately splashing the few raindrops it originally kept off of me right into my face. Argh.

So, I repeat the process of trudging through the rain, umbrella proudly held up high and repeat the process of getting the soaking of my life as well as possbily ruining the electric windows in my car.

I arrive back to the station. Care to know the first words spoken to me? "What happened to you, Chris?!?"

"The umbrella happened to me," I said.

Oh well, at least I don't have to be on air in 16 minutes. Oh wait, YES I DO!!

All that venting aside, I'm glad I got soaked today.

See, we may only be half way through the first month of the year, but we already have rainfall deficits of 1.94" in Florence, 0.70" in Myrtle Beach, and 2.07" in Lumberton. Today's rain will come very close to erasing our rainfall deficits for 2008.

If only the rain wasn't so cold! Thank goodness for the raincoat...too bad I left mine at home today!

Posted by on 01/17 at 11:10 AM

Buy a heavy wool/cashmere blend coat with a hood. Much better for fighting pesky rain. : )

Posted by  on  01/18  at  11:02 AM

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